Understanding cognitive defusion
How to free yourself from struggling with your thoughts
Do you ever find yourself stuck in the loop of negative thinking, like “I’m hopeless,” “I can’t do this,” or “No one likes me”, and feel like those thoughts control how you feel and act? If so, you’re not alone. Most people experience countless thoughts throughout the day, and many of them are negative or unhelpful. Cognitive defusion is a powerful skill that helps you change your relationship with your thoughts instead of letting those thoughts control your life.
What is cognitive defusion?
Cognitive defusion is a concept from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that teaches you to notice your thoughts as thoughts rather than truths that must be obeyed or fixed. When we’re fused with a thought, we treat it as reality like a command we must obey or a fact we cannot question. Defusion helps us step back and observe those thoughts from a more objective, relaxed perspective.
In other words, instead of being in your thoughts, where they control you, you learn to watch them from the outside, like clouds passing across the sky or passengers on a bus.
Why defusion matters
Thoughts can be powerful: they influence how we interpret situations, how we feel, and what actions we choose. But here’s the catch:
Thoughts are just mental events. They are not facts, and they are not commands through which we must live our lives.
When you fuse with a negative thought like “I’m not good enough”, it can feel so real that you make choices based on it such as withdrawing from a social event, avoiding a challenge, or giving up on a goal. Defusion gives you space from these internal stories so you can make decisions based on what matters most to you, not based on distressing thoughts.
How cognitive defusion works
At its core, cognitive defusion is about creating psychological space between you and your thoughts. Instead of evaluating or fighting thoughts, you notice them neutrally as passing mental events.
Here’s a helpful mental image: imagine you’re reading a book while the radio plays in the other room. You can hear the radio, but you’re not listening to it. This is what it feels like to defuse from a thought, i.e., you notice it, but you aren’t consumed by it.
Practical cognitive defusion techniques
Here are some exercises you can use in real life to loosen the grip of unhelpful thoughts:
1. Notice it
When a thought grabs your attention, silently say:
“I’m noticing the thought that…”
Example: If you think “I’m going to fail,” try: “I’m noticing the thought that I’m going to fail.”
This simple shift helps you create distance from the thought.
2. Slow it down
Take the problematic thought and imagine it being said slowly, like it's stuck on a record player that's losing speed. This can help reduce its emotional charge and make it feel less urgent.
3. Thank your mind
Instead of fighting a negative thought, respond with: “Thank you, mind, for that thought.”
This acknowledges that all your mind is trying to do is help you. Even when the thought is actually challenging or unhelpful, we can still thank our brains for trying to come up with solutions. This also helps to acknowledge the thought’s presence without giving it power or reacting defensively.
4. Visualise your thoughts
Imagine your thoughts as:
Leaves floating down a stream
Clouds drifting across the sky
Images on a movie screen
Watching them move without attaching to them strengthens your observer perspective.
5. Smile at your thought
Rather than battling your thoughts, greet them with a gentle smile. This helps shift your emotional response toward acceptance.
6. Name the story
Recognise that sometimes your mind creates certain stories based on your experiences. You can give your thoughts a name and use this to create distance, e.g., “My mind is telling me the ‘everyone is judging me’ or the ‘I’m not good enough’ story again”.
What cognitive defusion isn’t
It’s important to clarify what cognitive defusion isn’t:
It’s not suppressing or rejecting thoughts
It’s not pretending you don’t have thoughts
It’s not trying to change their content
Defusion is simply about changing how you relate to thinking, so thoughts lose their distressing power.
The benefits of practicing defusion
Regularly practicing cognitive defusion can help you:
Reduce the emotional impact of negative thoughts
Improve focus on actions that align with your values
Increase psychological flexibility and resilience
Respond to challenges with openness rather than avoidance
Over time, thoughts that once felt overwhelming become just mental events.
Final reflections
We all have thoughts whether they’re helpful or challenging. Cognitive defusion doesn’t ask you to eliminate thoughts or change them. Instead, it teaches you to observe them, acknowledge them, and let them pass without getting tangled up. The shift from being controlled by thoughts to watching them with curiosity and space is at the heart of greater emotional freedom, choice, and psychological flexibility.
References:
Harris, R. (2007). The happiness trap: stop struggling, start living. Exisle Publishing, Reprint.
